Elisia Speaks: 'So Very Proud!'

Elisa Black is daughter of Duboise and Jeannett Ball, granddaughter of Elnora Cross Bullock and EVERYBODY's favorite cousin!

Vincent (Vinnie) A. Corpening, 24

At some point, when I was not paying attention, my nephew Vinnie went from a scrawny, little awkward boy to a tall, gorgeous young man with a fantastic job that sustains him.

Vinnie and fiance Arielle Miller, 24

  

In just a few months, he will take a perfectly-suited women, Arielle, to be his bride. I will be there to share in this special moment. I’m so very proud!

Chelsea R. Corpening, 23

My niece Chelsea is a force of nature. She walks in a room and exudes a confidence and warmth only matched by the likes of her mother (Sharon Corpening) and grandmother (Eleanor Shelton).   

She’s sassy with curves that she knows how to work (work it girl!). It’s the kind of strut that makes skinny bitches want to eat a biscuit. I’m so very proud!

 

Jennifer (Jenny) Bachan, daughter of Marsha & James Elliott

The fact that my niece Jenny answers to me when I call her “Jen-a-mack-fur,” although she stands at almost six feet tall, pretty much says it all. With a really dry sense of humor and a high powered sense of style that you only obtain from living in a metropolitan city, she is one in a million. 

Jenny,27, and husband Mike Bachan,27

She married a wonderful man who seems, from all accounts, to be her best friend. With a strong work ethic, she has risen to a management position and, once again, I’m so very proud!

Ivana (Ivy) Elliott, 24, middle Elliott

Ivy is as sweet inside as she is pretty outside. The beauty of Ivy is that her beauty isn't of much importance to her but her deeds certainly are. She -- like Chelsea, Sharon C, Aunt El and Aunt Henrietta -- is a natural nurturer. Her July 4^th cakes are legendary and she has met a wonderful man that loves her and he better marry her soon. (YEAH I SAID IT DAN!!) She also will follow a family tradition by beginning her professional career in teaching this summer. I’m so very proud!

James Elliott, Jr., 22, youngest Elliott

James,Jr. is the not the spoiled, entitled young man you would expect being the youngest boy of an established family. Not my nephew! He is one of the most socially conscious young men I know. 

He has a passion for hip hop and writing and, now “Love and Hip Hop” (don’t  judge him, I watch it too). He is opinionated as all get out (a family trait) and, now that he has graduated from the University of Chicago and returned to New York, I’m excited to see what he will do next. I’m so very proud!

Sorry, Sharon. I know this is a blog not a book but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my sister Marsha Elliott, her hubby James, Sr., and my cousin Sharon C. Ladies and gentleman you did it, you raised wonderful Black men not the stereotype of our black men and confident strong women. Please take a bow!!

You, too, Lisa! 

Lisa's son, Erik (Scoop) Smith, Jr. (alias, EJ), 28, was recently discharged from active duty in the U.S. Air Force and is now a service engineer for Mazak Corporation in Dallas, TX. He's married to Tiffany and is the courageous father of two boys, Erik, Jr. and Major.

He and his cousins -- including Morgan Miller, Ashon Miller, Ashley Young, Vicky Miller, Taylor Shelton, Erik Shelton, Jr., Sean Shelton, Ella Shelton, Iyana Ball, Mark and Jerrell Ball  -- are, collectively, the reason all our generation of Cross-Bullocks are so very proud!  

Memories of "Grandma Beck"

By Eleanor D. Bullock Shelton

Rebecca Marrow Cross Lewis

July 2, 1847 – January 1, 1950
 
As a child, I remember my great-grandmother Rebecca Marrow Cross.

I looked forward to the once-a-week visits to Grandma Beck’s house during those hazy Summer afternoons. There she’d be … sitting on the porch in her rocking chair that just barely fit her. Her apron, spanking white, covered her calico dress.

Her stepdaughter stood next to her fanning the flies away. I never could figure out who this person was that spoke little but kept in time, fanning with the rocking. It was many years later I learned her name: Fannie. No one spoke much about her or to her. For the most part, she was invisible.

When my mother Elnora, grandmother Harriet, Aunt Henrietta, my sister Lillian and I came up to the gray wooden house with its protruding logs and small cloudy windows, you had a sense this house, worn with age, was a testimony to years of struggle and survival.

Grandma Beck was a regal figure sitting on her throne. I was hesitant to go near her. She had a commanding presence. Her lips unsmiling, her huge hands scarred from picking tobacco, and her piercing large brown eyes – instinctively said she was no one to mess with.

In a commanding voice, she said, “y’all come on up here and sit a while … Elnora, c’m’over here!”

A smile flashed across my mother’s face as she planted a kiss on Beck’s cheek.

 “… and who these chillim there? Y’all c’mon over here!

I walked slowly towards her until I felt her strong hands lift me on her soft pillow-like lap. Suddenly I felt safe in her arms.“How you, Harriet?” she motioned for her daughter-in-law to take a seat on the straw one her husband, Samuel, made years earlier.

“Been fine, Beck.” She turned her attention to my mother.

             
“Elnora, these chillum sure has growed up …” Her face softened and her eyes dampened. My mother smiled, knowing the statement was one of approval. Without warning, Beck yelled an order to Fannie to bring out some watermelon and cantaloupe. Fannie rushed to the command and the planks on the porch squeaked as she almost ran through the screen door. Fannie appeared with her boney hands gripping an oversized “melon.”

I climbed down from Beck’s lap. My sister and I laughed as we tried to out-do each other spitting seeds. We finished with our mouths wet with juice. Wiping our lips on our bare arms, we dropped the rind in the bucket reserved for making watermelon rind pickles.

My sister and I knew automatically that it was grown-up time. As we ran off to explore the woods, we heard Beck, Grandma, Mama and Aunt Henrietta laughing.

I was too young to ask questions of my Great-Grandma Beck. All I was told was she was related to the white Thomas F. Marrow Family.[i]Indeed that is true. Her father, Anderson Marrow[ii], was half-brother to Daniel Marrow[iii]. [iv] 

Like many female slaves who were subject to the sexual advances of their master’s, Anderson’s mother was unable to resist Thomas F. Marrow’s advances. Thomas fathered six children with his wife, and (according to long-held family accounts) Anderson, by his slave.[v] 

My Aunt Lucy, my mother’s sister, told how ‘ole man Drury S. Marrow,[vi] with a long white beard, visited his niece Grandma Beck when she was a child. She told the story of him pulling her to him with his cane and it ‘scared her to death.’

Discovering my great-great-grandfather was a son of his master, Thomas F. Marrow, raised a myriad of unanswered questions, and feelings of anger and sorrow. How did Anderson feel, knowing his master was also his father? How did his mother cope with being a slave “mistress?’ Did she feel shame being unable to escape the sexual exploitation of Thomas? Was she subjected to abuse by the wife of Thomas? How were they treated by the other slaves? 

As I continued to reflect, I wondered how deep were the wounds that pierced the heart of an enslaved soul. That they survived slavery is a testimony to their strength, fortitude, resilience and self-determination.

---

[i] An inventory of the Property of Thomas F, Marrow,  (1847) North Carolina State Archives, Raleigh, NC.

[ii] Ibid. Recorded birth in 1824.

[iii] Report from court, September term 1857, Granville, North Carolina. Equity, September Term 1857, Daniel Marrow and others against Drury S, Marrow, Executor of Thomas F. Marrow, North Carolina State Archives, Raleigh, NC.

[iv] Five generations of Marrow oral tradition maintained and passed on by Rebecca Marrow Cross Lewis. Additional sources include the will of Anderson Marrow.

[v] Ibid,

[vi] Drury S, Marrow – presumed to be Anderson’s half-brother -- inherited Anderson, b. 1824, his wife, Lucy, b. 1827 and “Becky”, b.1847 following his father Thomas F,. Marrow’s death. Report from court, September term 1857, Granville, North Carolina. Equity, September Term 1857, Daniel Marrow and others against Drury S, Marrow, Executor of Thomas F. Marrow, North Carolina State Archives, Raleigh, NC.